Well apparently he's into motor boating.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize