If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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