I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
