I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize