I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize