We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Randomize
