he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
How does one acquire holy water?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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