Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
