Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
