I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
