She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Randomize
