I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
