I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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