make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
