how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Your penis caused this!
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
