Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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