Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
we're so committed to being not committed
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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