He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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