Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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