um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
