HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
