No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
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