I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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