Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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