maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
