i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Small penises have feelings too.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
you had me at cake vodka
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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