Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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