she woke up with a sticky ear
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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