Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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