Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
