all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Randomize
