how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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