Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
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