Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
