stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
this will be a night to untag.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
