I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
