So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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