Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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