Swine flu. Run for my life!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I forget how to act sober
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
