opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Can vaginas get frostbite?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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