so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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