We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
