Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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