you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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