you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
