Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
My ass is underappreciated
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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