actually, I'm a sock model
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
