his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
