So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
