I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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