he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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