none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
