new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
