I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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