Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
