Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
