Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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