Are we in a gay sports bar?
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
