I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I'm too high and old for this...
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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