Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
