so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sorry about my life...
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
