i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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