Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
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